To san or not to san

So, I’ve been in Japan now for a few days and, when I’ve not been out cold with jet-lag, I’ve been very busy! Settling in to a new flat, buying things to furnish it with, finding my way around, shopping for food, setting up a bank account, meeting colleagues and bosses at work, getting given heaps of admin to do… All have in common the plain fact that whatever I need at the moment I have to meet and talk to people. And conversations in person require some form of addressing the person you speak to (unlike in many emails these days, which I can’t get used to)!

Now, in Japan, the formal way to address someone is by their family name, followed by “-san”, which indicates respect and humility, a bit more than just prefixing by “Mr/Mrs” does in English. If you’re really humble and feel you have a lot to learn from them, you might call them “sensei”, meaning teacher (kinda like a guru in India). In addition, bowing as you meet someone is the norm and viewed as respectful, even if you don’t know them. Of course, you don’t introduce yourself with “-san”, that would seem pretty arrogant! By way of an example:

In England:

Newbie: Hello, I’m Thomas Le Tank. Boss (shaking hands): Hello Thomas, I’m Mr Controller, but you can call me Fat. Do you prefer Tom, or Thomas…? Newbie: Nice to meet you, Fat. Either’s fine, I don’t mind. etc., chatting over a cuppa.

In Japan:

Newbie (bowing a lot): Good morning, sensei. Boss (bows): Ah, you must be Le Tank-san, I am Controller. Newbie (still bowing): Controller-san, it is a pleasure to meet you. Boss: Le Tank, get to work! Newbie (bowing as he leaves): Yes, Controller-san.

Perhaps that’s a bit over-exaggerated,* but I hope it illustrates the difference!

In shops, when you don’t know someone’s name and the like, there no need to be so personal – just buy the goods and go, no problem. But in the workplace it can be deemed very impolite to just say their family name with no “-san”, and even worse to call them by first name! It gets complicated when talking to your peers or other staff not directly above you in hierarchy. In the West, we might introduce ourselves by first name, but that’s not so common here in Japan. Usually it’s family names, and it’s safe to start with “-san” until you get to know someone. Then you might agree to relax towards just family names. When you get to first names, you know you’re on good terms – hooray!

Oh, and it snowed today!

Walking home in the snow

*Disclaimer: I know that there are more- and less- formal people everywhere, I guess I notice it here because I’m new to the way it’s done here! Also, with more Western influences nowadays, many people hardly mind at all either way.